Love Scene: The Big Bang, Was It A Mistake?

Photo credit - Getty Images

Photo credit - Getty Images

She sat in this famous old Irish bar, it was crowded, so loud with this game on TV, around her everyone is cheering …..but she was not really there….

She ordered her first drink….this one goes …to the old days when you went Gaga over her…. to her preterm baby dreams.. dead and buried deep in her heart…

She ordered her second one…..this one goes to the pain, she chose to bare for “someone” hoping “someday” to show up on her door…she changed doors, sucked in all kind of pain and pride…but they never came…

Without asking she got her third drink…..this one goes to the experience…to learning…to her love …to attachment ….detachment…addiction… affection… connection…to the unexplained bond…then to the loss … self-discoverysoul searchingblocks and beliefs….holding on…letting go…hold again.. release… push…pull…to the holly circle of lost love….she raised her glass this goes to the journey…..

Cheers….cheers… yayayay….ahhhhh…yessss….people cheering around her echoing what’s in her mind…..

“This one on the house” she heard. And here it goes, her fourth drink…..why it’s not cold enough? why it’s not bitter anymore……..

She started to feel light, floating on a bed of nothingness…sluggishness enjoying an eternal nullity…….many screen shots appearing and disappearing from her mind…she can’t get hold of any …they show themselves then run away from her…….all void at the end with a            BIG BANG of Light….…Where is everybody………………… !?

*********** The End *************

The Way I See It:  In my opinion the hardest part is not losing you, or changing many doors and you never knew. Not even loving you unconditionally waiting for your heart and mind to make peace and come back home. No…, the hardest part was discovering that you never really understood me, that you kept till the end seeing the story only with your eyes, even now! That’s the hardest thing of all when you see the person you love with all your heart, unwilling to be YOU for a minute blaming you for being lovingly there for them….so it’s when your love turn to be your fault and when “being there” is labeled to be just “stubbornness”! How painful is that! You tend to be left with one question: was it a mistake?

But I will never consider LOVE to be a mistake …ever! Love is the highest feeling a person can feel, it’s what make us alive, and we should always be alive, every moment and every day. No one should ever blame himself for loving someone, if they were not able to receive this love and love you back even more, this is their own lesson to learn…many people live and die and they never knew how really to love or what it is to be loved truly, deeply and unconditionally. I will always love with all my heart and so should you. And if anyone told you “Love is Weakness” answer them back: You need courage to really Love a person, to be there for them and return back their love. It takes courage to be weak!

Love & Light

Noha

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It is Time To Say It And Let It Go..! Call for Ex Lovers Message Collection

To My Ex Lover: I Am Finally Saying it!

To My Ex Lover: I Am Finally Saying it!

Dear friends! I am starting a collection of short messages to all of our Ex lovers, the ones we hate, we still love, miss sometime, learned a lot from, regret we ever left them or the ones we didn’t have a chance to really say what we want to say. Just send me a message with your message to him/her. I will blog it anonymous or with nick name if you want. That will be a FUN post!! pass it on to any one who might be interested with my email nohahassan1@gmail.com

The Way I See It: I need your help, so don’t forget, I know we all have some UNSAID words, it is very positive to release them now and be FREE….

Love & Lights

Noha

Short Story: Love Scene – “Falling Into Nothingness”

Your love was like Niagara’s rushing water… used to hit me …and hit me …and I loved it

It used to take me from high up, push me, rush me far down…I hit your rocks…a big splash throwing me again high up like a Queen…and here we go …you push me, rush me, I tug and wrest while falling ….and once again …a splash….

I loved falling so hard …hitting your rocks; that was the ecstasy! …I was breathlessly, carelessly, dreadfully, heavenly, perfectly falling in love with you …over and over and over…

I kept falling day and night.. Up and down…till one day I fell into nothingness…

No rocks, no splashes, no drugs, no screams, no dreams, no arms, no tears, no whispers, no queens,  no ghosts, no fears, no rush, no pull, no push,….. Nothing……..

I kept falling with nothing to hit me, stop me, wake me up, not sure I am up or down……… just one endless moment of eternal falling into nothingness…..

That’s the absence of your love………..

************

The Way I See It:

The hardest moments are “after the fact”, after you tried your best to keep your love story as alive as you can …it’s after YOU are convinced that there is nothing you can do will bring it back to life. Hearing this inner voice, coming from within, saying “We lost it….” It’s this moment of putting your story down into this huge grave where all “ended love stories” rest in peace. It’s this nothingness, silence, mourning, emptiness, clueless, wearing feeling – That hurts the most….

But then …after a while ….you have to take a decision, to choose, either to keep standing on it’s grave…falling into nothingness …re-living over and over the same memories or to leave a rose, sealed with a kiss, throw a small written note, saying “Remember me….” then keep going and move on…having the faith ..That if you could fall in love once…you can fall in love twice…..if you believed in love once…you can believe in love twice…and above all ….choose to believe in yourself ……and believe that falling in love was never wrong or a mistake! Love is this thing that reminds us “No matter how tough we played in this life…there is always “this look” from “this someone” that will makes us melt on our seats…transforming us to rushing water…splashes… hit……..up….down……..falling…….

Love & Lights

Noha

Niagara Falls - Photo and Illustration by Noha Hassan
Niagara Falls – Photo and Illustration by Noha Hassan

Short Story: Love Scene – “Skin Pillow”

 
Like a hot rushing shower after a long day
That night… they made love
They shared this mutual look of satisfaction
 
She squeezed herself from underneath his arms…
There is this little place…They knew it’s hers …it’s her “skin pillow”
She always puts her sweaty head on it
And they get too close to smell each others’ tiredness, Weariness and love 
 
There…. they usually share their last drops of words …
– I love you …
– I love you too …(squeezing her head more and more)
  In her sacred space in between his shoulder and head
– You know …if you leave me …I will never believe in love again
– ………(smile)…….(kiss)……….I will never leave you ……..
 
“Later on in the story …”
 
She is trying to sleep ….alone in her bed….
Can’t find a comfy position for her head ….
This is the 5th pillow she bought this month….
None of which were snug…like this space between his shoulder and head…….
She had tears in her eyes ….crossed her hands …and said:
 
“God give me the strength to believe in tomorrow …and I will buy a new pillow!”
 
The Way I see It: it’s only this “believe” in tomorrow and our determination to end our suffering in the “present” that lead us to overcome the greatest pain……..So if you are still there in this moment of searching for your “skin pillow” just keep believing that you can change it ..no one else will do it for you …not him, her, them or even God “unless YOU ask him so”….
 
Your Love was like Niagara Falls Rushing Water - Photo by Noha Hassan

Your Love was like Niagara Falls Rushing Water - Photo by Noha Hassan

Love & Lights
Noha

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